The Day Mommy Got Tough

In early July tantrums were bad. They were unbearable. I tried gentle parenting, re-directing, time-outs and nothing worked. I had a whiny, defiant child on my hands so I decided to hit him where it hurts (not seriously HIT him, people). Legos. I told him that the next "fit"would mean his Legos would be taken away for a whole DAY.

The next fit did happen and I followed through. James watched while I packed up every single one of his Lego ships, every Lego guy, every brick. He took it very well. Too well. He started to HELP me. (Mommy note: I started to think, This isn't working. He thinks this is fun!) But at least I followed through and James would see that I meant business. I was TOUGH.

I decided that I would get a bit more creative with the consequences after this. It was A LOT OF WORK packing up all these Legos and then hauling them upstairs out of his sight. I didn't want to just throw the Legos in a bin and risk breaking the fragile ships (i.e. more work for me later to put them together) so I carefully put them in bins, on a tray, and even used my triple decker cupcake holder for the smaller creations.

So the behavior improved. The Legos were barely missed until later that night. James asked for his Legos back. (Success!) I said no and reminded him that because he had a fit he had a consequence and he would see his Legos tomorrow. He accepted that pretty well and we found other toys to play with.

I haven't had to take away Legos or any other toys since. I don't think it's just because I got TOUGH one time. I think it helped a lot that he saw that this Mommy wasn't going to put with that s#%@! I think we've also been much more consistent and followed through with our discipline. No means no, Later means later, and sometimes You need to go potty first or Eat your food first means just that.

4th of July

We went to Grandpa Roger's for the 4th of July. I didn't take ANY pictures because it was a... trying visit. James gets pretty overwhelmed and/or fussy in new situations. We hope each time that it will be better, but we just never know when he'll cooperate. The visit started with an accident. James fell asleep in the car and when we pulled up to Roger's we discovered that James had wet himself. And we FORGOT an extra change of clothing. We headed to Wal-mart, really the only store open, and bought new underwear, some wet wipes, and a change of shorts.

James was REALLY clingy for the first hour. It was a HOT day too, so this Mommy did not enjoy the extra weight or body heat on her lap. Hey, I'm just being honest. Hugs are nice but not when they are whiny, hot, cranky little boys giving them.

He cheered up eventually when Uncle Joe and Shannon arrived and brought a new SQUIRT GUN :)

We were home before any fireworks and that was fine with us. We aren't a big fireworks family. We are always happy to see them in the distance from our living room windows :)

James drew this picture at his school. He said it is "Fireworks in the City"!

1st T-ball practice

I feel like I kind of dragged James to his first t-ball practice. We pumped him up about baseball and he was enthusiastic but when he saw the other kids and adults, he became a bit shy. I was glad that he was willing to toss the ball back and forth with this little girl. I crept away slowly and tried to separate myself from him. I think I lasted three minutes before he needed me back with him. (He wasn't the only child not willing to separate from his parent. There were a few.)

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The coaches gathered the kids in a huddle and divided them into groups to work on different skills.

First, the kids were encouraged to run a base and shout out their names when they arrived at first base. Kind of an icebreaker. (I despise icebreakers in my own life!)

James was one of the last kids to do this (gathering up his courage?) but did it well!

He kind of refused to participate in the groups. He pouted. I tagged along and it went a bit better.

The last skill was batting. James did well!

So it wasn't a complete success but we got through it. We've missed the next two practices, including the team pictures (darn!) but James told me that "next time" he'll do better. He spied a playground on the way home and said next time we should play there. I told him that if we have a good practice next time we'll stop for some playground time. He has mentioned it a few times since so I think it will be a good bribe.

I am willing to give up t-ball if it feels like I'm forcing him. I'm hoping to give it two more tries?

Lego Castles

We had this great idea to visit the Children's Museum today because the Lego Castle exhibit is finally open! James was pretty enthusiastic about the idea and had his thoughts of what it should be.

James was excited but also kind of hesitant. You can see him still clutching his Blankie.



James' idea of what this exhibit should be was building castles out of Legos. He ignored all the other parts of the exhibit, which was too bad because I *think* there were some cool parts. He was also disappointed that the lego area didn't have "guys". No knights or men. Oh well.

There was a meltdown at the museum and I ended up sitting on a bench with him for a while. He calmed down enough that he went to the next exhibit with his Daddy, but then was fussy again. Whaaaaaat?!

So we left earlier than we thought. Better luck next time I guess.

Our little Jekyll/Hyde was all better in the parking garage.

On Friday I surprised my wonderful husband with an overnight babysitter, so we had a whole night to ourselves for a dinner date. It was quite luxurious to eat slowly and speak to each other without interruption. We love our little guy but he sure does talk a lot lately :)

I speak of this because I think the day after a babysitter our little James is upset with us. I'm starting to think there is a pattern of increased tantrums after he's spent some time away from us. I need to think on this.

There were several time-outs today and a TV restriction (a consequence) imposed. Tough love, baby.

Blankie

I snuck Blankie in the wash today and of course James noticed "his" absence. Tears. But he helped me put Blankie in the dryer, making the decision that he was too wet to hold. So we started the dryer. More tears a bit later. We checked on Blankie. Still too wet. So finally James became distracted and Blankie was able to go through the whole dryer cycle.

Yay! Blankie is returned to James and all is well. And then he wore him like a hat/scarf? Silly boy.

Kinda NOW

James has been fine. Technically we stayed home because daycare has this rule that kids need to be fever-free for at least 24 hours before they can return. Both times today that I've checked James has been normal.

The issue? James isn't eating much and then his lips are so chapped that they are cracked and a little bloody. Eating is difficult. Even the little bit of acid in his applesauce is painful- see the picture below.




I'm going a little bit crazy from being home so much. And my back is whacky. I'm in some pain too, moving around like an old lady. Jim goes out of town soon so I'm hoping to get back to normal before then.

Just lots of ups and downs. James is a little like Jekyll and Hyde, poor thing.

Now? He's happy as can be. Just bounced into the room (after his last fit because I didn't let him go outside) and asked to watch his "favorite show"- Fireman Sam. Silly!

Visit with Santa!

James' daycare had a Breakfast with Santa today. We invited Grandma Rose and Grandpa Larry to join us but last night's snow made the drive too difficult for so early in the morning. Grandma called and said she'd meet us later in the day with a "surprise".

Our first attempt at sitting on Santa's lap didn't go well. James cried and threw a fit, even with Mrs. Kathy and Ms. Kelsey trying to help. We went to the rest of the party, and James showed us the Christmas decorations in his classroom. This is the fireplace and stockings for all the kids in the class.





To our surprise James wanted to give Santa another try. We waited in line a second time, with James telling us that he wanted to "just stand". I know what he really wanted to do was TELL Santa everything he wanted for Christmas. After the crying fit, one of the things we told him was that Santa probably didn't hear his list when he was crying. So I guess James wanted to make that right. Ms. Kelsey found him a Santa hat to make him brave.




Yay! James did much better. It was pretty loud in the room so I didn't personally hear but he did tell Santa everything he wanted.



"A very lucky shot guy, a goggles guy, a fire station, a fire boat, Batman cave..." Yeah, some of that doesn't make sense.

And then he stood for a picture!

We met Grandma Rose for lunch then. James was so happy to see her, he greeted her with "Grandma Rose!!" It was so cute. Grandma went right into the "surprise". She brought James an Elf on the Shelf! She explained the Elf and how he would watch over James for Santa.

He is taking this very seriously. The Elf has been named "Sneaky" and he sneaks peeks at James all day long. We read the book for bedtime and so now James knows that Sneaky flies to the North Pole each night to report on good/naughty behavior, and then he comes back to our house and finds a new spot to sit for each day. I told James that in the morning we'll have to find Sneaky. (This reminds me to change his position right now!)

Well, after lunch we came home and decided to play in the snow! We had a night of fresh, fluffy snow and it was just begging for a snowman.

Well, snowmen are kind of tough. So we gave it a try and then put it on hold for some sledding. We have a great little hill in our backyard.

What a big difference from last year. Last year James could barely walk through the snow, needing to be carried. This year he just stomped through and even walked up the hill by himself. Believe me, it is no easy feat walking through 6+ inches of snow!

Such a happy (but snotty) boy!

Back to the snowman. And success!

There's even a carrot nose!

We had to get creative for eyes and a mouth- we used sidwalk chalk :)

James was so proud to stand by our snowman!

It's his first snowman.

He had a great idea to add some arms.

And then he insisted on a magician's hat. I found one of his old knit hats from ChaCha. I figured she's magical, it would work.

I turned the camera on myself. Just because.

One last snowman change. James wanted to add hair.

Next up: Igloo!

We couldn't do much but watch Daddy build the igloo so we took a picture.

Daddy carved out the igloo and James crawled in to try it out. I was ready to yank his little self out of there if it caved in. But Jim built a good igloo.

Catching snowflakes on our tongues is fun!

What a great day!